Sometimes Things Just Happen This Way – Bob the Stupid Boss

During this economic downturn that we have been experiencing for the passed few years, I have had to work numerous temporary positions to tide me over until something more reliable came around. Some of the jobs have been fabulous, like working in another state and being paid to stay in a great hotel, with per diem and being able to bring along my two pups. Other jobs … well … not so good. One of them was for a mortgage company where I tried to get the homeowners set up on some kind of plan so they could ride out this rececession and still keep their homes (now that was bogus).

That mortgage job was bad, really really bad, but I stuck with it for the entire contract (I still have nightmares). The boss there was “Bob the Stupid Boss” aka “Stupid.” He started the same day the group of us did, yet we were never told that he was going to be our supervisor, or stupidvisor. So Stupid, with a slight strut that was supposed to make him look sophisticated and confident, keeps himself aloof as he takes the tour along with the rest of us. I never spoke to him during the tour, but I instantly did not like him and wondered whether he could feel my “I don’t like you” vibes that were eminating from my being.

I could go on about how he hadn’t a clue what he was doing, how he specifically told us that “what was true yesterday was not necessarily true today.” (Now really, how are we supposed to help the homeowners when things were changed so quickly and without announcement?) Stupid was also a bully and a tyrant and had people walk out on him in the middle of their shift. Now I’m going to get to the good part.

Bob the Stupid Boss came over to assist my co-worker. He crouched down beside her so as to “be her peer” and to enable him to listen to her telephone conversation with the homeowner.  He crouched too low and wound up looking up at her, which wouldn’t do if he was trying to show authority along with being an equal. Stupid had to be satisfied with a half crouch and half stand, that made him look like a bow-legged rooster.

When the conversation was over and Stupid finished with his patent “at the end of the day blah … blah … blah … ,” he tried to gracefully come to a full stand and turn back toward his office. Instead, his chicken legs would not allow him that move. His upward turn was not as tight as it should have been and his angle of departure was a bit off. Stupid came within a hair’s breadth of smacking his beak into the forgotten support post behind him. Nearly kissing the concrete, he set himself upright and quickly skittered away.

It’s my only good memory of the place. I was told that a week after I was gone security arrived in the middle of the day and escorted Stupid out of the building. When the door shut behind him, the entire office applauded.

Sometimes things just happen this way.

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